The air is a bitter cold that I have never felt before. The snow flakes fall quietly with an almost deadly silence filling the air. Shoving my hands deeper into my coat pockets I trudge on. The snow has caused the night to be eerily light. That doesn’t change the feeling of emptiness though. Cars sit silently buried under the drifting white flakes. I look over at Faith and wonder why I follow so blindly. She’s looking ahead, her breath freezing in a cloud with each exhale. It’s hard for me to read her face; I can’t tell what she’s felling beneath the mask she wears. I wonder what she’s thinking.

​

We continue to walk down the abandoned street; I’m not sure where we’re going but I follow her lead. Things have changed between us. I guess it’s the fact we’re always together, or maybe the fact that we’ve learned more about each other and ourselves than anyone else has. We’ve actually become friends believe it or not. Of course that’s what I always wanted from the beginning. But now when I look at her I’m almost in pain with the intensity of the feelings hitting me. There’s something different there now.

I shiver and try to ignore the aching pain traveling up my legs. I think my feet are already frozen and I’m not sure how much longer I can take this. It must be near midnight by now and I don’t even know how long we’ve been walking. Since the car was pretty much destroyed in a nasty fight with a demon a few towns back, we’ve been walking and hitching. A nice warm bed is like distant memory right now. But she seems determined to keep moving.

​

The wind is blowing hard, kicking up the snow and biting at my face. I can’t seem to pull my coat any more around me and I just keep getting colder. Finally I feel her eyes on me but I don’t look at her.

​

‘Shit B, why didn’t you tell me you were so cold?’ Her feet have stopped moving and she grabs my arm.

‘I dunno.’ My teeth are chattering too much for me to say anything more. I can feel my body shaking uncontrollably. Her eyes are looking at me intensely, she almost looks angry.

‘Come on.’ She says moving off again. It feels like hours before we come across a hotel. It’s something we can just barely afford I don’t care what it is as long as there’s heat. Apparently being a slayer doesn’t stop the cold.

The room is dark and cold when we enter. We drop our two bags and Faith goes over to turn the heat up. I still can’t stop shaking, even when I close my eyes and try to concentrate real hard, which I try.

‘Shit B.’ Faith says looking at me.

‘I’m cold.’ She comes up and wraps her arms around me, running her hands up and down my back.

‘Get your clothes off and get under the blankets.’ I follow her instructions numbly. It hurts as I peel off each layer of clothing. I get down to my panties and bra and I realize she’s done the same. I’m too cold to think clearly right now so I don’t question. She leads me to the bed and we lay down beneath the quilt, her arms wrapped tightly around me trying to share her body heat. I snuggle as deeply against her as I can.

‘You’re fuckin frozen.’ I’m barely listening to her, just too cold and tired. She’s not much warmer than I am.

‘Thanks for telling me.’ I mumble against her shoulder.

‘Maybe we should take a break for awhile. You know go back to see the gang.’ She says after a few moments of silence.

‘Really?’ It’s been over a month since we last saw everyone. Of course I call whenever possible but it’s not the same as being there with them.

‘Yeah, we need to get a new car anyway. Something way cooler this time too.’ I have a feeling she’s trying to distract me.

‘What…. kind of …car.’ I just can’t stop shaking.

‘How bout a 69’GTO?’

‘I don’t know what that is.’ Hey no one ever said I had to learn car stuff.

‘Didn’t think so B, but it’s cool.’

‘Well if you say it is, it must be.’ I feel her arms wrap tighter around me.

​

‘You gettin any warmer?’

‘I don’t know, I’m kind of numb.’ She pinches my arm. ‘Owwww!’

‘I thought you said you were numb.’ Faith is laughing now so I reach over and pinch her arm. ‘Heyyyy!’

‘My legs are numb you jackass.’

‘Gotta be specific B.’ I snuggle further into her for warmth. God this is starting to feel so good, so natural.

‘Shut up Faith.’ I mumble letting my eyes fall closed. There’s silence and I’m starting to drift in and out of consciousness.

‘B…. can I ask you something?’ She asks quietly against the top of my head.

‘Hmmmm?’

‘Why are you here, I mean why……. why have you followed me?’ Faith shifts under me like she’s a little uncomfortable. I’m tempted to just say it’s because it’s my job and it’s easier with two slayers and blah blah blah. I would not only be lying to her but to myself too. So why am I following her?

‘Why wouldn’t I?’ Ok I’m stalling sort of, so sue me.

‘Come on B don’t act like everything has always been cool between us.’

‘Faith I wouldn’t have come this far with you if I didn’t want to. We’ve had some fun times and I’ve actually gotten to know you.’ And suddenly it occurs to me; maybe she didn’t want me along. ‘Why did….. do you not want me here?’

‘No B it’s just…… Fuck I don’t know what I’m trying to say.’ Her grip on me loosens. ‘Look I’m happy that you’re here, wouldn’t want anyone else, really. It’s just….. things have changed and I don’t want you here unless you want to be.’

‘How have things changed?’ I know they’ve changed for me, but how has anything changed for her?

‘I……. I think I’ve…. got these feelings… and I don’t….. fuck!’ She pulls her self out from under me and gets off the bed, pacing back and forth across the floor just in her bra and underwear. If it wasn’t for the scowl on her face I would be laughing, and ogling. Faith looks really hot right now. Her muscles are tense and taught, and her hair is falling about her shoulders wildly. The cold air is causing me to shiver again so I pull the blanket around my head so only my face is showing.

She stops pacing and faces me, a look of determination on her face. ‘Buffy I think I’m ……. I think I’m falling for you.’ Faith is looking right at me, trying to gauge my reaction I know. I almost want to laugh, more out of relief than anything else, but that wouldn’t help any.

‘You mean like…….?’ I want her to tell me, maybe then I could tell her the truth. Of course I’m not sure what that is.

‘Like more than friends, jeez B I can’t be the only one here.’ At this point I try to bury myself under the covers. She’s just standing there waiting for something. Probably a response of some kind from me. I may be a slayer but no one said I had to be that brave.

‘You’re not.’ That’s all I can manage to say.