Title: Submerge
Rating: NC-17
Author: Ellixer
Pairing: X/G
Disclaimer: Characters and show are owned by Universal and others. The story is mine.
Note: It’s set somewhere there in season 2 or so. There has to be a first time. I changed the pov because it just sounded better.  This is my first Xena fic, took me long enough :p Let me know if its any good.​

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See if I'm breathing
Because I'm not sure
Tonight if I'm alive
Words are demeaning
They can't describe
- Maxwell
 

It started off completely innocent.  Doing nothing different than they did every other night. Lying next to each other under the blankets, looking up at the stars. Really it took just one touch.  A touch that was just slightly different than the thousands of others.  Sometimes when you light a fire, you can’t put it out.
 

‘Xena, have you ever wondered if we’re really here.’ I like to have philosophical debates at the most random moments.

‘Uh, what do you mean?’

‘Well maybe we’re not really here; this is just all a dream.’

‘I can safely say, I have not.’ Xena grins a little and grabs my hand with her own. ‘If we can touch, drink, eat, then that’s all I care about.’ I giggle a little.

‘A woman of few needs.’ Our fingers intertwine naturally. ‘Sometimes I just think..’

‘Sometimes you just think too much.’ Xena cuts me off. ‘Enjoy this life while you can, you may be a dog in your next one.’

‘Thanks.’ I retort sarcastically as I curl up against her, laying my head on her chest. Our hands, still with fingers intertwined, rest on Xena’s stomach.

We lay here a few moments, not speaking. I can hear Xena’s breathing slow, her grip loosen. Carefully  I extract her hand from mine, tracing my fingers up and down her leather bodice, drawing lazy circles.  If only I was caressing her skin. If only…..
A chuckle from Xena brings me out of my thoughts.

‘You know, you should be careful with what you do with those hands.’ I don’t move, just continue drawing shapes.

‘Why’s that?’ I ask, but I’m not sure I should be playing this game.

‘It could get you into trouble you can’t handle.’ Her voice lowers a bit, more husky than usual.

‘I can handle anything.’ I try to pretend  I’m  calm, cool, and collected.  It’s actually very hard to do.

‘Think you can handle me?’ Her voice is dripping with sexuality.

‘I can handle anything.’ Not hesitating but very afraid.

‘Hmm are you sure about that?’ In fact, I’m not sure. Xena has told me of her many exploits, and I’m not sure I can live up to that.

‘Come on, let’s go for a swim. It’s a hot night.’

I jump up and jog towards the lagoon made by a cascading waterfall. I don’t want to think, just jump feet first so to speak. I don’t look back to see if Xena follows, I simply shrug out of my clothes and jump in the water. A few seconds later there is another splash.

‘I’m sorry.’ Xena says weakly from behind.

‘For what?’ I whirl around in the water to face her.

‘I didn’t mean too…’ She trails off, looking down at the water. I cock my head in thought. I smile a little and swim closer to my friend.

‘You never have to be sorry Xena.” I reach up, fingers lightly touching the warriors face. Xena’s eyes close for a second.

‘Don’t.’ She pleads weakly, jaw tensing.

‘Don’t what?’ I ask, my thumb runs across Xena’s bottom lip.

‘There’s no going back Gabrielle. Think it through.’ Xena turns to leave the water but I grab her arm, stopping her movement.

‘I am a grown woman; I can make my own decisions.’ I refuse to let go, lest my resolve should falter.

‘Is it the right one?’ Xena asks quietly.  I break the distance between us, moving in front of the warrior to look in her eyes. A tear is slowly descending Xena’s face.  I try to delicately wipe it away. My hand is grasped by the warrior. ‘Please.’ She manages to rasp, looking deep into my eyes.

‘How could it possibly be wrong?’ How could it?

My hand slides to the back of Xena’s head, slowly coaxing it down towards me. The warriors resolve is broken; she lets me guide our lips together.  Such a soft gentle kiss. Our lips just barely caress at first, delicate and searching. Xena wraps her arms around me, pulling our bodies closer. The kiss slowly morphs into an expression of passion. Not as delicate but just as curious. I wrap my legs around Xena’s waist, my arms around her neck. Xena groans at the contact. Suddenly all the feelings are so overwhelming.

Xena carries me through the water. Stopping just on the other side of the waterfall, where the wall has been worn smooth. She gently pushes me back against the rock.  All the time, neither of us let our lips separate. There’s a constant dance of tongues, lips and a melody of sounds produced. Xena braces her hands on either side of me, and I in turn begin to gyrate my hips against the warrior’s stomach. The feeling of her smooth, wet skin against mine could have been enough. It could have been all I needed, but I want so much more.

Xena shifts her weight to one hand and maneuvers the other between our bodies.  Her fingers hesitate.

‘It’s ok.’ I whisper hotly in her ear.

Slowly Xena moves her fingers closer and closer, I’m relishing the feeling.  She inserts two fingers in as slow a fashion as possible;  curling them to rub my inner walls. I cant help but arch up against her, a slow strangled moan parting my lips. Xena’s mouth travels up and down my neck, kissing, sucking, licking, biting; any and all forms of contact.  She uses her stomach to push her fingers deeper into me, creating a rhythm of slow pumping. Her breathing is becoming ragged, only because she is trying so excruciatingly hard not to lose control. No words are spoken between us.  The message is very clear for us both.

My fingers clench in the warriors dark hair, pulling slightly. This act only serves to excite Xena more.  She moves her lips across my collar bone, down between my breasts, then nipping the plump skin. Her teeth grazes across my nipple, causing me to jerk up against her. Then with no warning whatsoever, in one deft movement Xena shifts me up and onto her shoulders. She breaths in deeply, doing her best to memorize the scent.  She takes the time to explore with her tongue, making a mental map. I’m going out of my mind from the sensation.

I have one hand clenched in Xena’s hair, and the other bracing against the rock wall. My back is arching, my lips part eliciting a groan from Xena. I can feel her eyes on me, but do not have the ability to look down.  Her tongue moves deftly in and out, trying to bring me over the edge. Suddenly I scream out, my body tensing as it arches out against Xena.  The warrior holds me until my body begins to relax again. She slowly moves me, bringing me back down to the water to stand once again in front of her. But Xena never once let go, her arms encircle my body, face buried in my neck.

Xena is hesitant to even look at me again; I know she is afraid I would immediately regret everything. But just the opposite is true. As gently as I can, I move her chin to face me.  The warrior is reluctant at first but our eyes meet once again. Neither of us expressing regret, but we let the other know that everything is ok.

‘Why?’ Xena asks.

‘Why what? This, you, what?’ I ask, wondering if this is the first and last time.

‘Why me, why now? Just why?’

‘Because I love you, I’ve told you that.’ I caress Xena’s face, trying to chase the worry away.

‘But I never thought…’ Xena searches for a reason to explain something she has been denying for so long.

‘I never thought this would happen.’ I say looking away searching for the right words.  ‘You are the aggressor in everything else, yet you were never that way with me. You have always given me these hints, but I always thought if you really meant it, you would show me.’ I look back at Xena. ‘I wanted you to know.  I couldn’t go the rest of my life pretending to be something I’m not.’  Xena brings her hand up, moving hair away from my forehead and tucking it behind my ear.

‘Gabrielle…’ She pauses, not sure if she should continue. ‘I never wanted to be reckless with you, I couldn’t lose you as a friend. You are my best friend, my soulmate. I didn’t want to hurt you.’ I  lean forward bringing her lips once again to mine.

‘You could never hurt me.’ I whisper against her lips. We hold each other as close as we can manage, refusing to let go even as a chill sets in.  It would be another long moment before we finally leave the water. A new understanding between us, a new level of love.