‘Fuck!’ Buffy yelled kicking a can on the ground. Tears fell from her eyes and she paced back and forth a few seconds before leaving as well. She needed a drink, and she was going to find one.

 

Buffy stumbled down the street cursing under her breath. She needed Faith and the girl just runs away.
‘Hey love where you going?’ Spike walked up next to her, and caught her as she fell.
‘You know Spikey, I hate Faith, she’s always running away.’ Her words slurred.
‘Ok love I think you better go home.’ Buffy stopped walking and looked at Spike.
‘Spike, kiss me.’
‘Ummm I think you’re drunk Slayer.’
‘Come on Spike you know you wanna. Jus a little one.’
‘Yeah and psycho slayer will have my heart ripped out.’
‘She wont know.’ Buffy leaned forward, and Spike frowned at her. ‘It’s ok I wont tell.’ She said and leaned in closer pressing her body against his. Spike couldn’t take the temptation any longer and pulled her hard against him and shoved his tongue into her mouth, after a few seconds Buffy pulled away and she looked a little more sober as she gazed into his eyes.
‘What’s wrong pet thought you wanted a kiss.’
‘You’re not Faith.’ She said before turning and walking off. Spike looked after her and spit on the ground in disgust, and wiped the back of his hand across his mouth.

***********************

‘Willow what’s going on with Buffy?’ Dawn walked into the living room where the scoobies had gathered, with the exception of their leader. They all looked at each other before the redhead approached the young girl.
‘Dawn, Buffy needs our help.’
‘I know, has she even come out of her room the last two days?’
‘I’ve heard her in the middle of the night.’ Kennedy said.
‘She locks her door so we can’t come in. I could open it easily if I wanted but I don’t think it’s going to help any.’ Willow said.
‘So what do you suggest we do, leave her up there to rot and die?’
‘She’s not going to rot and die. But I think I know who she needs right now.’
‘You don’t mean Faith do you?’ Xander said in disgust.
‘Isn’t she the reason for this whole mess?’ Dawn asked. Willow sighed.
‘That’s exactly why she needs to be the one. They have to work things out. Buffy can’t go on like this, she’s the slayer she has responsibilities.’
‘How are we going to find her?’ Kennedy asked stepping up next to Willow. ‘A simple locating spell shouldn’t be hard.’ Willow set about getting her things and they all gathered around as she began to do her task.
‘Can I say I don’t like this idea?’ Xander spoke up.
‘Shhhhh!’ Both Kennedy and Dawn shushed him.
‘What?’
‘Well it shouldn’t be hard to find her.’ Willow spoke up and they all looked at her. ‘She’s outside.’
‘Huh?’ Xander looked confused. The witch stood up and walked towards the front door and opened it.
‘Faith, I know you’re out there don’t make me get all magiky.’
‘What’s up can’t a girl take a walk?’ Faith said stepping out of the shadows.
‘Right a walk, and I’m a magical leprechaun.’ Xander spoke up sarcastically.
‘How bout I kick your leprechaun ass.’ Faith came closer.
‘If you’re both done with your posturing…………’ Willow paused looking at them, then turned to Faith. ‘You need to fix what happened between you and Buffy.’
‘Look Red, I don’t think there’s anything to be done. I love her and all I can do is wait for the day when she’s ready to believe that.’
‘If you wait any longer she wont be around to believe anything.’
‘What are you talking about?’
‘What are stupid *and* blind?’ Xander yelled.
‘Faith you know something’s wrong, and now you need to fix it.’ The brunette went quiet for a moment.
‘Alright, but you guys should leave and stay somewhere else. This isn’t going to be easy.’ Xander started to protest, as well as Dawn but Willow silenced them.
‘You better fix this Faith.’ She said walking past the brunette.
‘I will.’ Faith watched them leave and turned and went into the house. Breathing in deeply she began to walk up the stairs. Slowly she made her way to Buffy’s door and knocked softly on it.
‘Who is it?’ The muffled voice of the blond sounded haggard.
‘Faith.’ Silence.
‘What, did you get tired of stalking me?’
‘Look B just let me in we need to talk.’
‘Why do you want to talk now?’
‘Come on B open up.’ Silence. ‘Buffy open the door.’ Silence. Faith growled in frustration. ‘Ok fuck this shit.’ Faith lifted her foot and kicked the door open. Darkness greeted her and she tried to get her eyes to adjust. ‘B where ya at?’
‘What do you want?’ Faith searched for the source of the voice as her eyes adjusted to the darkness. A faint moonlight shone in through the window. She could see the form of the blond next to the bed on the floor.
‘Buffy. Shit! Ow, what the fuck!’ Faith stumbled as she tripped over something. ‘Put a light on will ya!’ A small light flicked on, it was a lamp on Buffy’s nightstand. Faith looked around in shock. Various things had been thrown around the room, and Buffy sat curled in a blanket, her hair disheveled, and an empty bottle of beer next to her. ‘B.’ She said quietly trying to get over the run down look the slayer had acquired.
‘What do you want?’ Buffy asked again, a hint of anger in her voice.
‘What’s happened to you?’
“You happened to me.’ The blond stated matter of factly.
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Aren’t you always.’
‘B I never wanted any of this to happen.’
‘So when it does you run away?’ Buffy’s jaw clenched.
‘I didn’t runaway.’
‘Then what the fuck do you call it?’ She spat out the words like poison.
‘I thought it would be better this way. I didn’t want to hurt you anymore.’
‘As much as I hated you I needed you, and you left me.’ Faith moved closer the blond and crouched down in front of her.
‘Look at what you’re doing to yourself B.’
‘What do you care?’
‘I love you, I’ll say that a million times if you’ll just believe me.’ She looked down at the older girl. ‘You need to get a hold of yourself B, you’re the slayer. All the scoobies are counting on you.’
‘They do fine without me.’
‘And what about Dawn, how many times are you gonna let her down?’ Buffy didn’t respond. They were quiet a moment. ‘Did Red take care of your dreams?’
‘Yes.’ Faith moved and sat back against the wall, staring at the blond.
‘Why ya drinking B, you know that shit doesn’t take care of the problem, it just makes it worse.’
‘I don’t know, things disappeared for awhile.’
‘But they come back and they come back worse.’ Faith sighed. ‘What can I do?’
‘I don’t know, I don’t know anything anymore.’ Buffy hung her head low. ‘I’ve lost it.’
‘Lost what?’
‘Everything.’
‘No B, I’ve lost everything, you just got caught up in my mess and lost sight of things for a little.’
‘Do you love me Faith?’
‘God yes.’
‘Can we make it through this?’
‘I think we can.’
‘Please don’t runaway again.’
“I promise I won’t, if you promise you won’t drink anymore.’ Buffy looked at her.
‘I promise.’ She said quietly, and they sat there in silence for a few hours. Neither moved or said a word. Faith just looked at Buffy, but the blond would not look up, she was lost in her thoughts. Finally Buffy spoke in a voice barely above a whisper. ‘Hold me please.’ Without hesitation Faith got up and sat down behind the blond and wrapped her arms around the older girl. Buffy smelled of alcohol and other mixed things, but she still had the smell of Buffy. The blond relaxed and leaned back into the brunette, she pulled Faith’s hands into her own, and turned her head to kiss the younger girl. It was a soft kiss that lasted a few minutes before they broke apart and the brunette kissed down Buffy’s neck and her tongue flicked out across the blonds ear. Her hands pulled away from Buffy’s and traveled down the girls thighs, then up across the inside of them. Buffy moaned in response and turned her body around so she could get better access to the brunette’s lips. She allowed Faith’s tongue in to dual with hers. The younger girl could taste the beer Buffy had consumed. Faith moved and pushed Buffy back to the ground, and hovered over her. She took the blonds bottom lip into her mouth and sucked as she pulled away. Faith looked down at her girlfriend and smiled at her, and for the first time Buffy smiled back at her, though somewhat of a sad smile. Faith pulled off her shirt and leaned down running her hands up Buffy’s side slowly, pushing her shirt up as she went. When the brunette got her girlfriends shirt off she slid down the girls body and pulled off her pants and panties. As she moved back up Buffy’s body, her hands slid up her legs and she kissed the inside of the blonds thighs. Faith moved to Buffys stomach and dipped her tongue into the slayers naval.
‘God.’ Buffy moaned as her hands moved up her girlfriends back, and Faith licked her way up to the area between Buffy’s breast, leaving goose bumps in her wake. The brunettes hands slid up and squeezed the blond’s breast before Faith reached over and her lips encompassed one of Buffy’s hard nipples. The blond moaned and arched farther into Faith’s mouth. The brunettes tongue rolled around the nipple as her teeth grasped it and pulled it lightly. Buffy’s other nipple needed the same attention and Faith moved to it, her tongue flicking out barely touching it.
‘Please.’ Buffy moaned as she pushed her hips against the dark slayer. Faith kissed her way down the blonds flat stomach, her skin tasted somewhat of salt and Buffy. She moved down and wrapped the older girls legs around her, and took Buffy’s clit in her mouth and sucked. Buffy groaned loudly, her hips bucking up into the brunettes face. Faith ran her tongue up and down the length her, lapping up Buffy’s juices.
‘God…..Faith…please.’ Buffy groaned as she drove her hips up against the brunette. Faith thrust her tongue inside the girl. Buffy repeated Faith’s name as she drove her tongue in and out. The brunette grabbed onto Buffy’s butt and pulled her harder against her mouth, her tongue going as deep as she could get it, and hard. Faith’s nose hit Buffy’s clit with each thrust. Buffy cried out, and the brunette could feel her girlfriend was close. Faith removed her tongue and thrust three fingers deep and hard into the girl, over and over. Her body moving behind each thrust, her breasts rubbing against Buffy’s. The blond screamed out Faith’s name as she went over the edge, her body tensing. Faith held her close to her body and kissed Buffy’s neck.
“I love you Buffy.’ She whispered.

Faith opened her eyes slowly, adjusting to the pale sunlight streaming down on her. She reached up pushing blond hair off of her face and lifted her head. She was entangled in the legs of the blond slayer and the sheets on the floor. Buffy was half lying on top of her, her head next to the brunettes, soft breathing sounds emanating from her parched lips. Faith carefully tried to dislodge herself from her girlfriend, moving very slowly, trying not to wake the girl. After what seemed like forever Faith stood up and stretched, letting out a small yawn. She padded over to the closet and grabbed some fresh clothes for herself and made her way to the bathroom, closing the door quietly behind her. She turned the water on in the shower and stepped in. The hot water washed over her body and she closed her eyes. Of course she would have loved to have woken Buffy up and taken their usual morning shower together, but she decided the girl needed more sleep. Faith was more than a little worried by the blond’s quick descent into alcoholism and depression, and it was eating away at her knowing she was the catalyst. Faith reached down and grabbed her girlfriend’s vanilla body wash. She squirted a little on her hand and began to rub it across her body. Her hand ran across her stomach first, rubbing back and forth slowly to build a lather. Then she moved up to her breasts, first her left one then her right, slowly rubbing across them and over her nipples that hardened under her touch. She wished she was doing this to Buffy, and tried to picture it.
‘Faith?’ Buffy’s voice calling out softly stirred Faith from her thoughts. She quickly washed the remaining soap from her body and stepped out of the shower and dressed. The she turned to the tub and turned the water on. After pouring a bottle of scented bubble crap that the blond always used, she got up and opened the door. Buffy was sitting on the bed rubbing her eyes tiredly, a blanket wrapped around her body consuming her. She looked up and gazed at Faith, her eyes piercing through hers.
‘Hey baby, how you feeling?’ Faith walked over and stood between the blonds legs, her hand tangling with her golden hair.
‘Ok.’ She said quietly then yawned.
‘Well you look like crap.’ Faith smiled down at her. Buffy leaned forward and wrapped her arms around the brunette, resting her cheek on the brunettes stomach.
‘Thanks for telling me, you’re too sweet.’
‘Aww come on B, you’re still beautiful even if you do look like crap.’
‘I don’t think that’s possible.’ The blond mumbled.
‘You go take a bath and relax.’
‘What about you?’
‘I already took a shower.’
‘Ok.’ There was a slight hint of disappointment in the blonds voice.
‘Come on B lets go.’ Faith pulled the older girl up and walked her to the bathroom. She pulled the blanket off her and helped her into the tub which was almost full of water now. She reached out and turned the water off. ‘Now you relax and I’ll be back.’ Faith leaned down and kissed Buffy softly on the lips before getting up and closing the door behind her. The blond watched her go wishing she had stayed or joined her. Buffy sighed and relaxed back against the tub and closed her eyes letting the hot water soak into her.

Faith looked around her and shook her head. After a few moments of assessing the situation she set about her task of cleaning up the room. She gathered all of the clothes and sheets and blanket that had been thrown around and walked downstairs to put them in the washer. Faith had never been much on doing the laundry but she knew how to do the job when it needed to be done. After getting that started she went back up the stairs and began to pick up the various bottles of liquor that had accumulated. It was apparently a lot worse than she had originally thought. She should have at least told Willow when she first saw Buffy drunk, but of course then there had been another problem to deal with. Faith threw away all of the trash and went to the closet and grabbed some fresh sheets to put on the bed. After she had finished all of her tasks she looked at her work and grinned. ‘Not bad.’ She said to herself. Faith laid out some fresh clothes for her girlfriend and went back downstairs. She’d have to get Xander to fix the door, though she wasn’t sure if any of them would be too pleased with her methods of entry. There was a knock at the door. Faith walked over and opened it.
‘What do you want.’ She gave Wood a look of annoyance. He glared back at her and his jaw clenched.
‘Where’s Buffy, I wanted to see how she was doing.’
‘Like it’s any of your goddamned business.’ She scowled at him.
‘Where is she?’
‘She’s fine, I’m taking care of her, now you can go before I kick your ass.’
‘You call what you do taking care of her.’ He growled. ‘Tell her I came by.’
‘Yeah I’ll do that.’ She slammed the door on his face and turned to the kitchen. Faith poured herself a glass of juice and started a pot of coffee. No doubt the Scooby gang would be back soon, they probably didn’t even sleep last night. Sure enough after a few minutes they came walking in through the back door.
‘Hey Red.’ Faith said not looking up from the comic book set in front of her.
‘How’d things go?’ Willow asked. The others walked in and gathered around.
‘Well about as good as can be expected.’ Xander was stuffing doughnuts in his mouth, powder fell from his mouth.
‘So where is the Buffster?’ He asked.
‘I’m right here.’ Everyone turned to see the blond standing in the entry way. Her hair pulled back in a tight pony tail. She was wearing the clothes Faith had left out for her, a black turtle neck and khaki pants. Faith knew her girlfriend well enough to know what she’d want to wear. Buffy gave them all a smile. ‘You leave enough for everyone?’ She asked Xander, walking over to the box and looking in. Buffy grabbed one then looked up to see everyone staring at her. ‘I’m fine I really am.’ Faith knew better than that, and she didn’t believe the blond, but didn’t say anything. Dawn smiled and walked over and hugged her sister enthusiastically. ‘Look I’m sorry guys, I know I haven’t been exactly the happiest person, but…… I’m sorry.’
‘As long as you’re ok all is forgiven and forgotten.’ Xander said. Faith watched as the group hugged her all at once. She smiled a little at the sight. After they had dispersed from their happy moment Faith looked at Xander.
‘Hey Xan man you’re gonna need to fix Buffy’s door, I had a little trouble opening it.’ Buffy looked down a moment and nibbled at her doughnut. Xander looked at Faith, she could still see the anger in his eyes.
‘No problem I’ll just go get my tools.’ They all sat and talked awhile, like they used to always do on Saturday mornings. There was a sense of normalcy to the room and their lives at that moment. But their lives aren’t normal. Buffy had sat herself down next to Faith, and the brunette had wrapped her arm around the girls waist. She realized how much Buffy needed her. Faith had always known that the blond was essential to her life, but never thought that Buffy needed her just as badly. The blonds hand went up under the back of Faith’s shirt and rested on her back.
‘So it’s the weekend, what are you gonna do today Red?’ Faith asked after awhile. Kennedy and Willow looked at each other a moment.
‘Well ummm…. ‘ The witch began.
‘We’re gonna go catch up on some sleep.’ Kennedy said getting up and pulling Willow away. The witch followed looking back at them with a slight blush and a smile. Faith just grinned as she watched them leave.
‘I don’t think they’ll be sleeping for awhile.’ Faith said turning to Buffy. The blond looked at her with a gleam in her eyes. Faith knew that look well.
‘I think we should catch up on some sleep too.’ Buffy said looking at Faith with a sly smile.
‘I dunno B, I mean after everything…..’ Buffy put a finger up to Faith’s lips.
‘Come on.’ Buffy said pulling her up from the chair.
‘But what about the door?’
‘We’re not going upstairs.’ The blond said huskily leading her to the basement door. Well if Buffy was willing then Faith was not one to argue. She picked the blond up in her arms and took them down to the basement, making sure to lock the door behind them. Buffy looked a little surprised by Faith’s sudden willingness, but that was quickly replaced by the lust in her eyes as she reached up and sucked on Faith’s neck. The brunette laid Buffy down on the bed Spike had used. She pulled the blonds shirt off slowly, stopping to capture a nipple in her mouth. Her hands traveled up Buffy’s ribs, grazing her breasts and up her arms pulling them back above her head. Faith fastened the blonds hands in the shackles they had used for the vampire. The she reached down and pulled off the girls shoes, then her pants and panties. Faith stepped and looked at Buffy. The older slayer sat, arms behind her head, legs slightly bent and crossed over at the ankles. Her heart began to beat faster, pounding against her chest.
She could feel Buffy’s eyes piercing into her own. The older girl pouted a little.
‘Are you just going to stand there?’ Faith looked over Buffy’s body again and tore her own clothes off in a frenzy. Her hands traveled up and down every inch of her girlfriend. Although she had already memorized every detail of Buffy’s body, she always yearned for her like they’d never even touched. They moved up across the inside of her thigh and Faith leaned in and sucked on the blonds clit.
‘Uhhh….God… Faith..’ She moaned. Faith was tempted to stay and partake of Buffy’s sweet juices, but forced herself away.
She made Buffy turn, and the blond faced the wall on her knees, her hands splayed against the cold surface. Faith ran her hands slowly up the girls butt and began placing kisses on each cheek. Buffy groaned in response. The brunettes hands went around to the front of the girl, traveling up her taught stomach and up to her breasts, which she squeezed. She leaned over, her breasts against Buffy’s back as she sucked on her ear, then neck, letting her teeth graze the blonds skin. Faith ground her hips into the back of the girl, and one hand moved down the blonds stomach till she found where the girl was wet, practically dripping with desire.
‘Mmmmmmm Faith.’ Buffy groaned. Faith drove two fingers in hard and the blond cried out, her body arching. The blond turned her head and Faith captured her lips, forcing her tongue into the blonds mouth. Her tongue explored every crevice and battled with Buffy’s. She continued to drive her fingers in and out hard, moving her body against her girlfriends, grinding her hips into her back. Buffy moaned into Faith’s mouth, and the brunette flicked her thumb out hitting the blonds clit. Faith groaned into Buffy’s neck as she thrust over and over. Faith thrust in three fingers hard and fast as she felt Buffy’s muscle began to clench, then the girl came screaming over the edge. Faith held her up as she trembled and waited for Buffy to regain her senses. After a few moments she helped Buffy to turn back over into a sitting position.
‘Please Faith I want to touch you so bad.’ Her girlfriend pleaded.
‘Not yet baby.’ She whispered in the blonds ear. Her lips found their way to Buffy’s and they became engulfed in a passionate kiss. They broke away gasping for breath. Faith bent her head and began to lick the salty sweat from Buffy’s body, beginning with her neck, down across her clavicle, between her breasts and down her stomach. Buffy shivered at the contact. Then Faith moved back up to the blonds breasts which seemed to be calling to her. She took a nipple in her mouth and bit down and pulled, though not enough the hurt the girl. Buffy cried out and arched herself up pushing into Faith’s mouth, and straining against the restraints.
‘Aughhh, fuck Faith.’ She moaned and the brunette smirked, her mouth still around the blonds hardened nipple. ‘Please Faith…… I want to taste you.’ Faith looked up at the blonde who looked at her with such love and lost she gave in. Getting up she found the keys and undid the shackles. Buffy practically attacked the brunette with kisses. Faith pulled her away and made her lay down, then she got over the girl, her butt facing Buffy’s face. Grabbing the blondes thighs she dove down and began to lick the length of the blond. Buffy groaned and grabbed for the brunette, she became even wetter at the sight of her dripping girlfriend. She tried to pull Faith more against her and she went straight for the brunettes clit biting down as she sucked. Faith groaned into Buffy and the girl groaned her name. The blond thrust her tongue into the brunette, her tongue moving around a little in a circle before she removed it and thrust it back in. Faith in turn did the same and soon both girls were thrusting and sucking tasting each other. They came at the same time each crying out the others name. Faith managed to turn herself around and half laid on top of the blond who wrapped her arms around the brunette, and they fell asleep holding each other.

 

The rain taps lightly at the window, almost melodious in nature. A distant rumble of thunder brings a warning of what’s to come. She stares up at the ceiling, watching the shadows of the grimy light hitting the rain. The clock reads 9:45. They would usually have gotten out of bed already, but sometimes they choose to stay and wile away the hours and minutes on slow Sunday mornings with brief conversations, sleep, and sessions of love making. A soft grumble and slight movement, and she turns her head to look at her girlfriend who’s arm and leg are on top of her, like she’s grabbing hold of her so she wont leave.
Her hair has fallen over her face now, covering her closed eyes. Reaching over she moves a few strands away from the girls face and stares at her a moment. Then she returns to the hypnotic show on the ceiling. She’s contemplating something, she wants something, but she promised, and she can’t. Still it’s hard to forget, she may have forgiven, but she can’t forget. She’s not even sure she has forgiven; she may just be avoiding the whole thing which has cut into her picture perfect idea of love. The girl next to her stirs more, she’s waking up.
*********************************

Now why do I feel so alone
knowing I know I have you
and what made you turn around on me
what did I do
and when did love feel this way
so much pain and misery
where’s the you I once knew
and could ya fly with me
Floetry - if I was a bird

*******************************

‘Hey baby.’ She whispers in my ear, I can feel her hot breath, and her lips barely touch it. A shiver runs through my body. She wraps her arm and leg tighter around me, pulling herself closer. Then she’s over me, looking down, a smile graces her lips. Reaching up I touch her hair then push some of it behind her ear. My hand lingers on her cheek and she leans into it, closing her eyes.
‘You’re beautiful.’ I say quietly. Her eyes open. No matter how many times I’ve told her that she always seems surprised. I don’t know why, I’m sure she’s had more than her share of compliments.
‘Don’t even compare to you B.’ She grins at me, I can’t help but smile back at her when she does that. A boom of thunder shakes the windows. I turn my head and look out the window, but I can’t see anything it’s raining so hard. I feel her lips on my neck, and I moan at the contact. Grabbing her shoulders I push her over on her back and now I’m over her. My hands running up her stomach as I straddle her hips. Her hands on my hips and I can see the lust glowing in her eyes.
My hands move slowly up to her breasts, and she closes her eyes arching slightly at my touch. Leaning down my tongue runs across her lips, then I suck on her bottom lip and grab it with my teeth pulling away. I begin to slowly grind myself against her, and she moans. I kiss her deeply and passionately. I want for the world to slow down, I want for time to stretch and for this little moment to last forever. I kiss along her jaw line and down her neck, squeezing her breasts.
‘God….’ She moans. And then I think about those dreams, an image flashes in front of me. I can’t stop what I’m doing to myself right now. It hurts that these thoughts seem to be forever permanently with me. The dreams may be gone but that doesn’t erase my memory. I bury my head in her neck and I start to cry, I can’t stop the tears from forming. My body shakes a little. She has noticed my change in mood and one hand is running through my hair, the other pulling me toward her.
‘What’s wrong baby?’ She keeps asking me but I can’t speak right now. So she just holds me, I think she knows what’s wrong, she’s the cause of these tears. After I calm and settle down I pull away from her and get up off the bed walking to the bathroom and closing the door behind me. I don’t look back at her, I know there’s probably pain on her face. I fall back against the door and close my eyes. This needs to stop, I can’t keep doing this to myself and to her either. I really need a drink right now, but I promised her, but it’s hard. I want to forget. I splash some water on my face and dry it, then I open the door. She’s still there, lying in the bed, her hands folded under her head. I half expected her to have left. Her head turns and she looks at me. It’s hard for me not to look elsewhere.
‘You ok?’ She asks simply.
‘Yes.’ I set about looking for some clothes to put on.
‘Don’t lie to me B. I don’t know about you, but crying is not okay.’ I move hangers back and forth, I don’t know what I’m looking for. ‘Look B you can’t just pretend it didn’t happen, we have to talk about it.’
‘You think I’m pretending it didn’t happen? I turn and look at her. ‘It’s hard to pretend when I can’t forget.’ I can see the pain register on her face. I turn back to the closet and pull some clothes out, I don’t care what it is I just need to get clothes on. She’s sitting on the bed staring at me.
‘B please talk to me, you can’t keep doing this shit.’ I really need a drink right now.
‘What am I supposed to say that will make anything better?’
‘I dunno but you gotta get it out B you gotta talk, if not to me then Red.’ She’s pleading with me, I think I love her a little more for this, but that doesn’t change anything.
‘It just hurts.’ I whisper, I don’t really want to say this it just comes out. I pull my pants on and then my shirt. ‘Sometimes so much it’s hard to breath.’ I turn and walk to the door opening it.
‘You’re gonna drink aren’t you?’ She asks from behind me. I freeze for a moment then just walk out the door. I know she’s going to follow me, so I hurry down the stairs and out the door into the pouring rain. Within seconds I am drenched. I shove my hands into the pockets of my jacket and walk down the sidewalk. I can hear her quickly approaching footsteps.
‘Buffy stop!’ She yells at me, and I turn around. She’s in a shirt and jeans no shoes.
‘Why!’ I yell back through the rain.
‘Now who’s running away?’ She moves up to me and grabs my arms roughly. ‘I know I hurt you Buffy and I’m sorry, but you can’t keep running off to get drunk every time you remember something or I do something wrong. Stop running away!’ I look at her and I can see the love and concern in her eyes. She used to be the one I ran to. Right now I’m torn. I know what she is saying is the truth, I am running. But I still want to forget and I need a drink badly, it’s calling to me.
‘I… I …’ My words falter and I begin to pull away from her, I just want a drink it’s not going to hurt anyone. Her grip on my arm tightens.
‘I don’t want to have to do this.’ I look at her confused, I don’t understand what she is saying. I begin to pull away again and then I realize her fist is raised, and I’m so surprised by this that I don’t react fast enough as her fist comes down hitting me. Sparks erupt in front of my eyes and then blackness enfolds me.

 

Her eyes flutter open and she groans at the pain in her head. Reaching up to touch it, she realizes her hands are bound. The cuffs holding her are too strong for her too break from. The she realizes where she is, the cold dark basement. Her clothes have also been changed, now she’s in a tank top and pajama bottoms. Her hair is still wet, she can’t tell how long she’s been out. Then she sees the dark figure at the bottom of the stairs.
‘How you feeling.’ Faith’s voice stirs in the darkness.
‘I’m not sure, considering my girlfriend knocked me out and has chained me to the wall in the basement.’
‘You left me no choice.’
‘Are you going to get me out of these things?’
‘No, not yet.’
‘Where’s Willow at, she’s not going to be happy when she finds out what you did.’
‘She’s upstairs.’

‘Willow!’ Buffy yells at the top of her lungs. After a minute the basement door opens shedding a stream of light down onto Faith. The witch comes down the stairs. She looks nervous. ‘Wills thank God, get me out of these things.’ The witch nervously looks from Buffy to Faith who shrugs. She turns and looks at the blond.
‘I’m sorry Buffy but…… this is for the best.’ She looks down at the ground.
‘What!? What are you talking about?’
‘You need to let us help you.’
‘Are you talking about the drinking, because I can just stop. I just wanted a drink today, there’s no crime in that.’ Her eyes were wild.
‘It is a crime when it affects everyone.’ Faith said standing up.
‘What and cheating doesn’t effect everyone?’ The blond spat out angrily. Faith winced slightly. ‘I’m sorry, just let me out of these and we can talk.’ Buffy turned to pleading.
‘I’ve tried talking to you already.’
‘What so you don’t get what you want so you chain me up in the basement?’
‘I did what I had to do B.’ Faith looked at Willow, and the witch went back up the stairs. ‘You rest and I’ll get you some water.’ Then the brunette walked up the stairs and closed the door behind her shrouding the basement in darkness once again. Buffy growled in frustration and pulled harder at her restraints. They still didn’t move and she fell against the bed in frustration.

************************

A light flicked on near the bed and the blond tried to shield her eyes as she opened them. She could see a hand move towards her with a glass of water. She grabbed it putting it up to her parched lips and drank greedily.
‘Woah, slow down there.’ She recognized the voice as Xander’s. He adjusted the light so it wasn’t shining in her eyes.
‘Is everyone in on this?’ Buffy asked giving him a slight scowl.
‘We just want to help you Buffy.’
‘Maybe I don’t want you’re help.’
‘You don’t have a choice.’ He pulled up a chair and sat down.
‘Where’s Faith?’
‘On patrol, someone’s gotta do the slaying.’
‘How come you’re on her side now?’
‘I’m not on anyone’s side. I’m you’re friend, we all just want to help you.’ Buffy sighed.
‘I’m sorry Xander.’ She looked down at her cup.

‘You know even with everything that she’s done, I can tell she loves you.’ Buffy looked up at him. ‘Of course given the chance I still think Wills should work some magic on her. You know turn her into something, maybe some excruciating pain.’ He offered her with a smile. She gave him a small smile back. He stood up. ‘Well I better go check on the womenfolk.’ He started to walk up the stairs and stopped halfway up. ‘Nothing is worth doing this to yourself, not even her.’ Then he turned and walked up the stairs closing the door behind him. Buffy was beginning to realize what she was doing to her friends. They seemed determined to help her none the less, and that’s why they were still friends. Still something inside her wanted a drink, told her everything would be ok. She lay back on the bed curling up into a ball. Buffy was beginning to feel sick, all she need was a drink and she’d feel better, a little drink.

**************************

‘B?’ Buffy looked up into Faith’s eyes. The brunette was crouched beside the bed look at Buffy with concern. The blonds vision swayed slightly as she tried to sit up. ‘Come on B, you need to drink this.’ Faith put the cup up to Buffy’s lips and the blond took a small sip before jerking her head away. She felt if she drank any more she’d throw up all over. Buffy didn’t know how long she’d been locked up in the basement, but it felt like an eternity. Faith tried to get her to take another sip, but Buffy kept her head turned away. ‘You’re gonna get dehydrated.’ Buffy’s head didn’t move. Faith sighed and sat down in the chair. The older girl leaned back against the wall and looked at her girlfriend.

‘Are you going to take these chains off me now?’ She asked bitterly.
‘No.’
‘What, do you like to torture me?’
‘Look what happened, happened, we can’t change things no matter how much I wish we could. Stop doing this to yourself Buffy.’
‘You did this to me!’ Her eyes welled with tears. ‘When I died and they brought me back………. Do you know what that did to me, how long it took for me to feel again, like I used to. I was never truly happy no matter how hard I tried. And then you came back and things changed. After we got over everything in the past and worked things out and…… and….. I fell in love with you it was the happiest I had ever been. I felt like I was in heaven and I cared whether I died or not. You made things better.’
Faith got up and crouched down in front of the blond, her eyes slightly teary. ‘When I almost died again and those demons fucked with my brain and I saw you……….. It felt like I had died, and you had torn me away from heaven again. You abandoned me and left me stranded. I was drowning in the pain you had caused and I was beginning to sink. Spike gave me a drink and it felt like a way out, a way to forget. I know that’s wrong and stupid but it was all I could think of. That first time I got drunk and everything disappeared…………. I just wanted the pain to go away.’
‘Oh God baby I’m so sorry.’ Faith’s hands clutched at Buffy’s legs. ‘Maybe we can just start over.’
‘How many times are we going to do that Faith?’
‘As many times as we gotta to get it right.’ Buffy closed her eyes and grimaced. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘I’m going to be sick.’ Buffy managed between clenched teeth. Faith quickly grabbed a bucket as Buffy leaned over and began retch. She tried to hold the blonds hair back. After a minute Buffy lay down on the bed, her body shacking and sweating as her body began to go through withdrawal. Faith grabbed a washcloth from a bowl of water and wiped the blonds mouth then grabbing another washcloth she wiped the sweat from her forehead as well. She grabbed a hair tie and propped Buffy up, putting her hair back in a ponytail. Then she sat down on the bed and let the blonds head rest on her lap as she continued to use the washcloth to cool Buffy’s skin.

The others began to doubt their decision, or rather Faith’s decision that they just agreed with. Buffy continued to throw up the contents of her stomach, all the while Faith tried to get her to keep water down. The brunette insisted this was necessary, and that Willow doing magic would not help Buffy, the blond needed to go through this. Wood began lurking around the house, stopping by when he found out she wasn’t going to be going to work. Willow told him she wasn’t feeling well enough to see anybody, but he didn’t believe her. He was beginning to get on the brunettes nerves. The man was too concerned with her girlfriends’ life and she didn’t like that at all. Faith herself never left her girlfriends side and had Spike and Wood do the patrolling on the second day as night came upon them.

‘Are you sure she’s going to be ok?’ Willow said in a hushed whisper.
‘Yeah, the fever will break soon.’ Faith answered in an equally hushed voice.
‘She doesn’t look so good.’ They both looked at the blond as she moaned in her sleep.
‘She’s been through a lot the last couple of hours.’ She paused and watched her girlfriends movements on the bed. ‘What time is it?’
‘Nearly 1 in the morning.’
‘You and the gang can get some sleep, I’ll watch her.’
‘Are you sure, you haven’t gotten any sleep at all.’
‘I’m a slayer, I think I can handle it Red.’
‘Even slayers need their sleep.’
‘Not this one. Not when I need to take care of B.’ A pause as silence sunk in.
‘You do love her don’t you?’
‘Yeah, even when I tried not too.’ They stood there a moment in silence.
‘You’ll wake me up if something happens right?’
‘You’ll be the first to know Red.’ She smiled a little at the witch as the redhead walked up the stairs. Faith sighed, and stood there watching Buffy. The blond was probably having nightmares, but as soon as the fever broke she would be able to sleep peacefully. The sight of the older girl was tearing Faith up. This girl, no woman, meant everything to her and she destroyed her trust. Faith never wanted to let this woman go again and would do anything and give up anything just to be with her forever. She walked back over to the cot and held the girl in her arms, hoping that somehow she could bring a little comfort just by doing this small act. Faith realized Buffy had really changed her. She was thinking of something that she never thought she’d ever think about, though when this girl came into her life it had crossed her mind a couple of times. Right now she was wondering if that thought could become a reality.

For a brief moment she felt her heart stop, it had happened before, awhile back. The first time it was when her eyes looked upon an angel, she had to have been with a smile like that and this twinkle in her eyes that just couldn’t be placed. The second was when that angel had confessed her love for her, it seemed such a dream, so inconceivable that she would choose someone like her. Now it has stopped again as those perfect eyes look up with such love, even after what she had done to this angel, she still had love in those eyes. Weakened, a little pale, and somewhat grimy she was still so beautiful that words could not describe the thousands of emotions rising from her at this moment, and she thanked God that she was allowed to be in this angels presence.

‘Hi.’ She managed weakly. Faith grabbed her a cup of water and lifted it to the older girls lips, tilting a little so she could only sip a little.
‘How you feelin B?’ She asked taking the cup away again.
‘Like crap.’ She smiled a little and Faith couldn’t help but grin.
‘I think the worst is over.’ She stood up then leaned down and picked the smaller girl up in her arms. She had taken the shackles off awhile ago.
‘Where are you taking me?’
‘We’re gonna get you cleaned up and maybe if you’re good some fresh air.’ Faith grinned down at the blond.
‘I haven’t felt this weak in, …..I don’t know how long.’
‘Well if you weren’t a slayer you might not have survived.’ Faith said quietly not looking at the blond as she went up the stairs. ‘You’ll be top dog in no time.’ She smiled again.
‘Really I get to be on top?’ Buffy almost mumbled as she smiled and rested her head against Faiths chest.
‘You must be feelin better B.’ Faith smirked. She opened the door and the bright sunlight of early morning burst forth. Buffy cringed a little as the light hit her eyes.
‘Buffy!’ Everyone exclaimed in unison getting up from their positions.
‘She’s not dead is she?’ Kennedy asked.
‘No, I’m just going to go get her cleaned up.’ Faith said walking past them and up the stairs to their room. Once inside Faith laid her down on the bed and walked into the bathroom. She started the water in the tub and grabbed a toothbrush, put toothpaste on it, and a cup of water to rinse her mouth with. She propped the blond up against the headboard and began to brush her teeth for her.
‘You know I’m not an invalid.’ Buffy smiled at her when she had finished.
‘Naw, but since I did this to you, the least I can do is spoil and pamper you.’
‘A girl could get used to this.’ Faith walked back to the bathroom and returned a moment later.
‘Ok now the fun part.’ She smirked down at the blond and began taking her clothes off. Buffy helped her a little but let Faith do most of the work. Then the brunette picked her up in her arms again and carried her to the bathroom and placed her in the tub. Buffy sighed as the hot water washed over her body. Faith grabbed a washcloth and began to gently wash the blonds back. Then she preceded to wash the rest of her body, being very gentle and slow. The hot water had made the blond feel even weaker and she soon fell asleep. Faith continued to clean her girlfriend, washing her hair as well. Buffy seemed to be too exhausted to do much of anything, so the brunette once again picked up the blond slayer, wrapping her in a towel and carried her back to the bed. The blond mumbled something under her breath as Faith laid her down and kissed her on the forehead. Then she got some clothes and began dressing her girlfriend, just some sweats and a t shirt, something comfortable. After dressing her and trying no to wake the girl, she brushed her hair for her, then lay down and pulled the blond into her arms and fell asleep.

*****************************

Buffy opened woke feeling considerably better than she had earlier, although her stomach growled in pain and her mouth felt like a desert. Her head was in Faith’s hair, taking a deep breath she breathed in her girlfriends scent and smiled. It was going to be hard to work on their relationship in dealing with Faith’s cheating, but the blond felt they were a great deal closer than they had ever been. She wrapped her arms around the brunette and pulled her tightly against her.

‘Whoa B, ya miss me?’ Faith’s eyes opened and she looked at the blond with her trademark smirk.
‘Yeah.’ Buffy said, her voice still sounded weak. The brunette placed kisses on Buffy’s cheeks and hugged her back.
‘You up for the Scoobies?’ She asked.
‘I should probably apologize,… again.’ The blond closed her eyes.
‘I don’t think they’re looking for one.’
‘But they deserve one.’
‘Ok then, let’s go.’ Faith once again picked the blond up. Buffy giggled.
‘How long are you going to do this?’
‘I dunno, the rest of my life.’ They walked out the door and down the stairs. Faith realized they must have been sleep for a couple of hours, it had to be at least 1 o’clock if not later. The gang was gathered in the living room watching tv. They all jumped up as soon as Faith walked in.
‘Is something wrong with her legs?’ Anya asked.
‘She’s a little weak right now.’ Faith said.
‘You can let me down now.’ Buffy said, and the brunette stood her up, one hand holding the blonds waist to support her. ‘I just wanted to tell all of you that I’m sorry. I let my problems affect you and my duties as a slayer. I’m sorry that I let everyone down.’ Dawn rushed over hugging her sister and crying.
‘Don’t ever do that again.’ She cried into the blonds shoulder. Buffy pulled her sister into a tight hug.
‘I’m sorry Dawnie.’ She whispered. Faith watched as the whole gang smiled and seemed to reject the notion of their friend needing to apologize. It was smiles and hugs all around.

********************

Faith helped Buffy walk out to the back yard and sit down on a bench, and handed her a glass of water.
‘I put one of those cool straws in it.’ Faith said grinning. Buffy laughed a little as she took a sip. The sun felt good, especially after having been locked up in the basement for two days. Titling her head up she closed her eyes. Faith sighed.
‘You think we can get past what I did?’ She asked her voice turned serious. Buffy thought a moment.
‘Yes. In the end you were there for me when it counted.’
‘But I’m the one who did this all to you, and like you said I wasn’t there at first.’
‘I know, but you did come back, you tried to fix everything you did. It’s going to be hard, I’m not sure I can forget everything, but I think………… I think I’ve finally forgiven you.’ She turned her head and looked at the brunette, who smiled back in return. They looked into each others eyes.
‘It’s going to be hard, not drinking, you’re gonna want too everyday.’
‘As long as you’re here with me, I promise I won’t.’ Faith leaned in and kissed her gently on the lips. When she pulled away, Buffy rested her head on Faith’s shoulder. Wood came walking into the backyard.
‘If it isn’t principle boy.’ Faith stiffened slightly at his sight.
‘Are you alright Buffy? They say you’ve been sick but wouldn’t let me see you.’ He stood before them, his eyes glowing with concern for the blond.
‘I’m alright now.’ Buffy said.
‘You weren’t sick what was wrong?’ He crouched down and took Buffy’s hand in his. Faith glared at him.
‘It was just something I had to deal with, but I’m fine, I promise.’ She gave him a smile. His head turned and he glared at Faith.
‘What did you do to her now?’
‘She didn’t do anything.’ Buffy interjected.
‘Look she’s fine, she told you that.’
‘She doesn’t look fine.’
‘Well she is. Now that you’ve seen she’s alive you can go.’
‘I’m tired of you and you’re attitude. Coming here and tearing her life apart.’ He stood and Faith followed suite.
‘You mean coming in here and stepping into your territory.’ Faith growled back at him. ‘It kills you to see her with me doesn’t it? You aren’t man enough for her.’
Wood swung his fist at her, but Faith ducked and hit him in the stomach.
‘Stop you guys.’ Buffy tried to yell. Both got into their fighting stances as the blond started to stand up.
‘You don’t think you can take me do you?’ Faith asked with a smirk. Then both launched themselves at each other, going almost blow for blow but the brunette was winning.
‘Stop it.’ Buffy tried to yell again. The back door burst open and everyone came out of the house.
‘What’s going on?’ Xander asked.
‘Will stop them.’ Buffy looked pleadingly at the witch. Faith took an uppercut to the jaw, and was about to do a roundhouse when suddenly she went flying backwards and landed on the ground with a grunt.
‘Shit, what was that?’ Faith groaned as she tried to stand back up.
‘Faith, are you ok?’ Buffy came over and tried to help her girlfriend up. ‘Yeah B, why’d you sick Red on me though?’
‘I had to stop you two. You need to stop all this fighting.’ She turned and looked at Wood who was grabbing his side. ‘And I can take care of myself, I don’t need you watching my every step.’
‘Buffy I…’
‘No, I’ll see you at school in a few days.’ She said interrupting him. He glared at them a moment before walking off. Buffy turned back to Faith. ‘Come on let’s go inside.’ Faith wrapped her arm around Buffy’s shoulders and together they went inside the house.