"I'm sorry Scully. I know this meant a lot to you." Me too, he thinks to himself. "You can try again." He kisses the top of her head as he has done so many times before. Her body shakes a little as she cries into his chest. He hates to see the pain etched on her face as she breaks the news. It had almost been too much for him. He guides her over to the couch.  Together they sit down in the darkness, in silence that is heavy with grief of things that can't be.

No words pass between them as the silence reigns.  He holds her trying to ease the pain. The same pain he feels, though hers is greater. She could have gone with an anonymous perfect donor, but instead she had chosen him. A child, he could have been a father. The concept seemed odd, yet somehow comforting. He had said he didn't want it to come between them, but he knew that wouldn't happen. If anything it would only bring them closer, if that's possible.

​

 Her breathing has become rhythmic; she is falling asleep. He himself is tired, and probably should head home, or maybe he should stay on her couch. Shifting, he lifts her up into his arms,  walking towards her bedroom. She weighs less than he had thought. A sigh escapes her lips as she rests her head against his chest.  Slowly he places her down upon the bed, covering her with a quilt. He looks at her a moment, trying to wish her pain away, then starts to walk out of the room. A hand grabs his arm stopping him, making him turn around. Her eyes seem to glow the same sadness that he had seen in her face.

​

"Please, can you stay for just a little while Mulder?" She pleads in a whisper of a voice. Without a word he crawls beside her; wrapping his arms around her small frame, his face half buried in her hair. He leans forward, kissing her cheek. Shadows play on the wall, each seems to be a picture of their past. The darkness envelopes them, and some how it’s comforting.

​

"I can't do it again Mulder.” She whispers, breaking the silence. “I guess I'm just not meant to be a mother." Her voice cracks.

​

"Don't say that Scully. You deserve it more than anyone." She sighs, reaching for his hand.

​

"Thank you Mulder."

​

"Aren't you supposed to wait until morning to thank me?" She smiles tiredly.

​

"No, thank you for being here for me. Thank you for being my friend."

​

"Isn't that the Golden Girls song?"

​

"You watch that?"

​

"Hey older women can turn a man on."

​

"That's disgusting Mulder." She laughs a little. He was glad to see a little bit of a smile on her face, but it’s still not quite in her eyes. "You must be disappointed?"  She says quietly. Truthfully he is. He would have loved nothing more than to be the father of her child. He sighs. "Mulder?"

​

"I guess I am."

​

"I'm sorry."

​

"Don't be." She moves his hand up to her lips, softly kissing it. Then she holds it to her chest, breathing in deeply.  "Maybe I shouldn't be doing this."

"Why, because you're not married? You don't believe that. It will happen. Trust me." That word means everything to them.  Trust. She turns to face him, her majestic face inches from his. Smiling through tears she spoke.

​

 "I'm glad I joined the X files. Otherwise, I may never have met you." His eyes smile as he gazes at her. He can not imagine his life now or in the future without her by his side. Whether they be friends or more.

​

"I'm glad you came too." She leans forward and kissed his fore head.

 

"What would I ever do without you?"

 

"Probably lead a normal life." He means this.

​

"Don't say that Mulder. Who's to say my life would be any better." Their eyes lock. Every emotion they ever felt passing like electricity between them. Her body tingles with it. His senses are dulled as nothing but the woman next to him consuming his thoughts. "Don't you ever get lonely Mulder? This job, it leaves me no room for anything, though that may partly do to my own restraint. Maybe that's why I wanted a baby. To fill something."

​

"I'm only lonely when you aren't next to me. That's why I always drag you out on a case." His words ring in her ears. She had been in denial and not seen the motives for what they were. Though truthfully, she was sure she did know, and felt the same. That was why she always followed him. "A baby would not fill any gap that you may have Scully. You would be the perfect mother. You deserve to have a baby. Don't try to put yourself down." He always speaks the truth to her when it really matters. His sincerity meant so much to her. He is never this way with anyone else but her.

"Mulder, what are we doing with our lives?"

 

"I don't know Scully." A single tear rolls down her cheek. She put her hand on the side of his face, her thumb rubbing his cheek. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears, and his heart ached as he shared her pain. His eyed searched hers, and her eyes searched his. So many things had gone unsaid, overlooked, hidden, and ignored throughout the years. He moved a strand of hair out of her face. They wanted to act upon their feelings, but they wanted to stay the same. They wanted to show each other the extreme boundaries of their love, yet they wanted to keep their friendship as it was. They wanted so much to be what they should not, but they could not hide what was happening in their lives. What was happening was not a small fling type of thing. It was something that had grown for many years, built from the ground up. But still they spoke of no love between them. Only caring friendship and a bond no thing can break, try as they might.

​

No noise, despite their breathing, could be heard. Their eyes never unlocking from each others. Their pain and loneliness apparent. Everything seemed to slow, even time itself, as she leaned foreword and softly kissed his lips. It was brief, but as she looked at him again they both wanted something more. She closed her eyes, and her lips grazed against his. Almost unsure of the implications of her actions. But soon her lips met his again, this time more force, more hunger, more need behind it. His lips met hers with the same fervor. He rolled her over onto her back, until he was over her. Their lips never parting, each in turn tasting the others need. Finally their lips separated, but his face hovered inches above hers. She smiled at him, this time it shown in her eyes as well. A few tears rolled down her cheek, and he wiped them away with his thumb. He looked into her eyes a moment, hoping he was doing the right thing, but the smile was proof enough. Their breath quickened in anticipation. He lowered his head, and again their lips met. This time, the passion was flowing like electricity between them, and it seemed to flow through their bodies, igniting something from within the depths of their souls. Their souls which seemed to be locked together, intertwining, swimming in a see of passion now unlocked.

​

She grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him closer. Needing him closer, wanting him closer. A myriad of emotions flowed through each kiss as it became more forceful, more passionate. His kissed trailed across her cheek, down her neck, and ended up at the base of neck. He unbuttoned her shirt as his kisses continued. Her hand pressed down on the back of his head. His kisses trailed down to her stomach as he unbuttoned her shirt. Her hands now had reached under his shirt, feeling his chest, and his abs. She began to pull his shirt off, and he pulled his arms out, for a moment the kisses stopped but soon continued as his shirt was discarded. He ran his fingers through her hair as he peppered her neck with kisses. Her taste was exotic to him, a form of ecstasy. The feel of his skin upon hers was unnerving, but not in a bad way. She had imagined what it would feel like to be doing what they were now doing, but it paled in comparison to the reality.

 

Their heart beats got faster as their passion rose. His hand ran across her lips, and down her neck, feeling her soft skin as he began to explore her. He pulled her out of her shirt, and soon all of their clothes had been shed. Again his kisses trailed down her stomach. Her hands grasped at his back. Soon he licked his way back up to her lips, causing her back to arch, and a small gasp. His mouth locked onto hers, and she needed to know his taste. Their hands searched each others bodies, as if trying to memorize every single portion. He rolled over, their bodies becoming entangled. Sweat started to glisten upon their bodies. Her hands swept across his chest and down.. His hands crawled up her stomach and across her chest. Still they feverishly kissed each other as if any moment one of them would disappear. This moment which seemed so long in the coming was not about to be wasted. Their hands glided across each other, their legs entangling. Her hands slid across his chest, them his arms spreading them out as she leaned down searching for his lips. They let their love free, their passion which had been held I so long. That unrequited love. This was not sex, this was love.

 

Finally, he became a part of her, he was one with her. No longer did they feel they were on earth, how could they be? The feelings which they felt, which could not truly be explained by any person dead or alive, seemed unreal. Nothing could compare, nothing truly came even close to that burning in their souls, that electric touch that sent shivers down their spines. They had to be in heaven, or someplace close to it.

​

His love surged inside, a release which seemed to explode all at once. Her hands ran through his hair. He looked at her, hoping he wasn't dreaming. She kissed his chest, and slowly he moved. He grabbed her waist, then ran his hands slowly up to her chest. Feeling her soft, hot skin against his. Every movement, every touch was remembered, was multiplied by ten. Was increased by infinity. Slowly they moved. Gradually climaxing. His hands trailed down her ribs, down her thighs. Bombs could have been going off around them and they would not have noticed. He grabbed her back and pulled her down to him, so he could feel her lips upon his again.

He was on top of her again. Everything came out in one big long explosion that in the end left them shaking in each others arms. They held each other tight, not wanting to let go. Not wanting to let the feelings they had expressed disappear into thin air. Outside the sky began to lighten up. In that room, they fell asleep, not caring about the consequences, not wanting to think about what the days ahead might bring. Just living in the moment they had shared. Living for that one moment might make every other moment worth living.