Title: I love You

Rating: PG 13

Author: Justchicky2bme

Disclaimer: Show and characters belong to J.W. and M.E.  Lyrics are from Amneris Letter, Shania Twain. The story is mine.

Notes: I wrote up a few ways to go with this little piece and finally settled on this one. This was requested by K, I just hope you like it, and if you don’t I can always try again. Fingers are crossed.

Faith watched as Spike and Buffy left the house to go on patrol. She was supposed to go to but had to do this one thing first. It was hard to watch him walk away with the blond, it hurt. She wondered if Buffy loved him, but found it hard to believe. The brunette couldn’t blame the bleach blond vamp, it’s hard not to love Buffy. Faith would never have let someone she wanted just walk away, if she wanted someone she’d just go up and get them. But Buffy needed to be treated differently, she wasn’t just another screw. Faith felt odd trying to express her feelings to the blond in clear terms the girl could understand, especially with their turbulent past.

::I'm sorry for everything I've said
And for anything I forgot to say too::

 

So many times she had wanted to grab Buffy up and kiss her, but somehow she knew that the blond would reject her. That was one thing that led to the dark slayers turn to evil. And now, reformed or something close with the world on the brink of war that only these few people here knew about, she needed to let something out.

::When things get so complicated
I stumble, at best, muddle through::

 

In the darkness she climbed the tree and opened the window. She could have just used the door but somehow this felt like the right thing. If she didn’t live, or even if she did, Faith had to let Buffy know the one thing that remained on her mind through jail, and throughout all time will always be on her mind, was the blond slayer she had fought beside and against. She regretted her past with Buffy, how she’d tried to hurt the one person who tried to help her, the one person Faith wanted to help her. If she could go back and change things she would, maybe it could’ve been the two of them, more than slayers, more than friends. Climbing into the room she stumbled over a bedside table, and fumbled for the light switch to the little lamp there.

::I wish that our lives could be simple
I don't want the world, only you::

 

As slayers their lives would never be easy or simple, but if they were together it would make it a whole lot easier on both of them. She sat down on Buffy’s bed and inhaled her scent that seemed to hang in the air. Maybe she was being a coward doing it this way. Faith was supposed to be tough, not afraid or shy, that would make her weak. Still she didn’t know if there would ever be a time when she could just say the words. It seems so easy, so simple but when the time comes it’s hard.

::I wish I could tell you this face to face
But there's never the time, never the place::

 

She placed the letter down on the little table, the letter B scrawled on the front. Her fingers lightly grazing across it as she walked back towards the window. Faith ran her fingers through her hair and contemplated a moment whether to take the latter back and crumple it up. With the words she wrote, even though they would probably seem simple and crude to the blond, those words put her out there on a limb to be hurt. Faith didn’t like to voluntarily do that to herself, but again she may not live to see the blond ever again, and if she did well……... If she was going to do anything right in her life this is just something she had to do. Faith climbed out the window with one last glance back, then down the tree and across the yard.

::So this letter will have to do
I love you::

Maybe one day Faith would be able to speak those words aloud. Maybe one day Buffy would feel the same. Maybe one day things will be different.